A House of Prayer

My husband Billy and I started Dynamic Marriage recently- it has been an awesome investment so far (one week!!) I am realizing how much I love classwork. This course has a handbook, a workbook and a book to read. I am not allowed to discuss much about this class, but I just wanted to mention how grateful I am for the course. The main thing we are emphasizing and enjoying at home is the daily prayer with your spouse, and I have to say how eye opening and awesome this has been. 


When we were newly married we were encouraged to pray every night before bed and we did for a long while, but at some point during my masters program (when I was barely sleeping!) we stopped the regularity of praying EVERY night. I think there is a beautiful reverence and peace that exists when a couple prays regularly. At different points in our marriage we would pray after a fight, or if we had a problem- but praying every night is a different level of closeness- both in our relationship and towards God. 


Isa 56:7
I will bring to my holy mountain 
   and give them joy in my house of prayer. 
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices 
   will be accepted on my altar; 
for my house will be called 
   a house of prayer for all nations.”


 If you and your spouse (or room mate for that matter!) don't pray together every morning/night- that would probably be one of the very best things you could do to develop a stronger bond in your marriage. What are some of the positive effects you could imagine (or have experienced) as a result of this kind of commitment?

Loving my HERO from now till forever...

Today was the day my Mom delivered me 31 years ago- So really it is a day to celebrate her sacrifices for 10 months in pregnancy and throughout- all the way to today. 

As we head into a weekend of celebration I am thinking so much about my friends and family that make special times- special. Each of my friends are so unique and have qualities that make them special and beautiful in their differences. My mom has been such an incredible blessing to my life- God was so gracious to give her to me. 

¹⁶ “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (deut 5:16). 

Sometimes I think about what God had in store when he commanded us to honor our parents. I looked up the word... 

Honor:  1. esteem somebody or something: to have or show great respect and admiration for somebody or something 2. exalt somebody: to recognize somebody publicly or elevate somebody's status officially, usually by giving that person a title or an award 3. pay tribute to somebody: to publicly praise somebody who has died and pay respects to him or her 4.dignify somebody or something: to give prestige to somebody or something such as an occasion by choosing to appear, accompany, or take part

I think back on my life and all the "seasons" of my relationship with my mom. As a young child, a pre-teen, a teenager and college student, as a new wife and now as the grandmother to my little boy. She has had so many opportunities to give up on me or lose faith in me- and she never has. 

My Mom has fought through a lot in her life and continues to be the most spiritual woman I have ever met. This year I learned a whole new level of respect for my mom 

and I will be here loving my hero until the day I die. 

Click here to listen to the song on you tube...

I wanted to close out this post withe the lyrics to a song I dedicate to mom:

by Jamie O Neal called Somebody's Hero...

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world, 
No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

oh oh 
She didn't get a check every week like a nine-to fiver
But she's been a waiter, and a cook and a taxi driver
For twenty years, there at home, until the day her girl was grown
Giving all her love to her was her life's ambition
But now her baby's movin' on, and she'll soon be missin' her
But not today, those are tears of joy runnin' down her face

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her daughter in her wedding dress
She gave her wings to leave the nest
It hurts to let her baby go down the aisle she walks right by
Looks back into her mother's eyes
And that smile lets her know oh oh oh 
She's somebody's hero

Thirty years have flown right past
Her daughters' starin' at all the photographs
Of her mother, and she wishes she could be like that
Oh, but she already is

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her mother in a rockin' chair
She runs a brush through her silver hair
The envy of the nursing home
She drops by every afternoon
Feeds her mother with a spoon
And that smile lets her know oh oh 
Her mother's smile lets her know oh oh 
She's somebody's hero

Love yourself?

  ²⁹ “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[e] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’^[f] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[g] There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:29


I was prompted to look into this scripture by a friend and I encourage you to look into it also. God commanded us in Leviticus 19:18:  ¹⁸ “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Later Jesus is asked what was the most important commandment and he answers with the scripture above- Loving God is first, then loving others AS WE LOVE OURSELVES...So I am asking myself- how do you love yourself without being selfish or arrogant? This is known as the golden rule but how can we practice it?

(Golden rule: The command of Jesus Christ to love others as ourselves

Mt 7:12 pp Lk 6:31 See also Mt 22:39-40 ppMk 12:31; Ro 13:8-9; Gal 5:14)

The following verse seems to be the opposite of what God wants : Ecclesiastes 2:10 (The Message).  ^9-10 Oh, how I prospered! I left all my predecessors in Jerusalem far behind, left them behind in the dust. What's more, I kept a clear head through it all. Everything I wanted I took—I never said no to myself. I gave in to every impulse, held back nothing. I sucked the marrow of pleasure out of every task—my reward to myself for a hard day's work!

In a parable Jesus addresses filling our "barn with ourselves": 

 ¹⁵Speaking to the people, he went on, "Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot."  ^16-19Then he told them this story: "The farm of a certain rich man produced a terrific crop. He talked to himself: 'What can I do? My barn isn't big enough for this harvest.' Then he said, 'Here's what I'll do: I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I'll gather in all my grain and goods, and I'll say to myself, Self, you've done well! You've got it made and can now retire. Take it easy and have the time of your life!'  ²⁰"Just then God showed up and said, 'Fool! Tonight you die. And your barnful of goods—who gets it?' ²¹"That's what happens when you fill your barn with Self and not with God. Luke 12:12-21

This seems to be a paradox that I know I haven't figured out yet! God wants us to "love ourselves" and love others accordingly- yet he doesn't want us to become "filled" with ourselves.

How do you reconcile this paradox? How do you "love yourself"?

My "new year's resolution" or goal for the year has been to work on building healthy boundaries, and I can't help but view "loving myself" as having a patience, kindness, protection, trust, hope, and perseverance...for myself.  God used these terms to defined love in 1 Corinthians 13 but I think we need to remember to view ourselves in light of these terms as well. Patient towards myself and my weaknesses and shortcomings. Kindness in how I perceive myself in comparison to others- finding faults in myself that aren't constructive or based in righteousness. Protection in how I spend my time and the choices I make. 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 cor 13)

                                                 

When we really "love God" and "love ourselves" we can properly love others. As Valentines Day approaches think about this notion- how can you be more loving to yourself? 

Loving God's Version of Love

As I rode into work today I listened to a local radio station talking about Marriage. I was prepared for them to be unable to do it justice as all four anchors are less than imitable in the marriage department. The topic of their discussion was "Men looking to brag about their marriage". 

When the lead anchor started the discussion he led off by saying this would most likely be a very short segment, because he was sure there wouldn't be anyone to call in- that there weren't many men willing to "brag" about how great it is to be married and how much they love marriage. Listen to this interesting discussion here.  In fact,  this discussion was prompted because last week on a guy's panel of the same show, they claimed that the men were saying how "uncool" it was to be married and how men look at marriage as being a "ball and chain".   

To his (and my!) surprise he said "The lines are just lit up- I am amazed!".  Turns out our men all over Atlanta were happy to brag about Marriage...

This got me reflecting on my own marriage- there are certainly times I think Billy would not want to call into the Bert show (like yesterday in fact!!!) to brag about our marriage, but all in all- What a gift marriage is. I am married to a man who works hard for our family, loves me whole heartily and is THE BEST father I have ever seen.   I decided to do a study on marriage (using the following verse as my main scripture):

^{Micah 2: 13-17 (the message version)}

these blocks are separate/dismembered

^13-15And here's a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don't get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you've broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that's what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don't cheat on your spouse.

 ¹⁶"I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat.

 ¹⁷You make God tired with all your talk. "How do we tire him out?" you ask.

   By saying, "God loves sinners and sin alike. God loves all." And also by saying, "Judgment? God's too nice to judge.

I bold-ed and italicized the passages that struck me the most. God's spirit inhabits the smallest details of marriage and separation dismembers the "one flesh" of marriage. Divorce is an obvious separation, but I started thinking about the smaller aspects of separation- the things I do that separate me from Billy. MY sin. God says in verse 16- don't let your guard down. I think the ways I let my guard down the most are in my level of respect when I communicate to him. I have decided to do a better job expressing to him how I respect him and capitalizing on all the moments when he does things well. 

Please comment on some things you do (accidentally or not) to separate yourself from your spouse or ways that you could work to bring you and your other half closer...

For further study Here are the main discoveries I found:

Marriage is part of God’s plan for the human race:

From creation Mt 19:4 pp Mk 10:6 See also Ge 1:27; 1Co 11:11-12 Man and woman are not independent of each other.

It is to provide companionship Ge 2:18See also Ge 2:20-22; Ge 3:12; Pr 31:10-12

It is to be a committed, exclusive relationship Ge 2:23-24 See also Mt 19:5pp Mk 10:7-8; 1Co 7:2; Eph 5:31

It is a lifelong partnership Mt 19:6 pp Mk 10:9 See also Ro 7:2; 1Co 7:39

It is the intended context for raising children Mal 2:15 See also 1Co 7:14

It will not exist in the life to come Mt 22:30 pp Mk 12:25 pp Lk 20:34-35; 1Co 7:29-31

Marriage as a covenant relationship Mal 2:14 See also Pr 2:17; Eze 16:8

Sharing our TOOLS...

I was explaining (defending) to my sister why I wanted to write a blog, and as only your sister can do she caused me to pause and think through why I became "A BLOGGER"....


I have been following a blog called momastery for a while now and have been really moved and inspired by Glennon's ideas and messages. She posts about the common and universal truths of life while maintaining her faith and perspective about God and her family. And... She is hilarious. If you haven't already- check her out at  http://momastery.com/blog/


I have also been following a friend's Mom who is a true leader and example of "long time faith" at http://jeaniesjourneys.com/   Jeanie does a great job at challenging me to think deeply and more fully about God and my relationship to Jesus and others. 


At church I volunteer as a "children's ministry supervisor" which basically means I try to observe classes and help teachers. Sometimes I spend time helping a teacher with a specific child, and sometimes I spend time with a specific teacher :) Because I need to be in classes I often miss my own classes, and between my toddler and supervising it is hard to get all I can get spiritually from church.


Therefore I realized about the time Wil was born that I'd have to take my christian walk to a different level. I can't just rely on attendance at church/midweek to grow spiritually (which honestly was easier for me to do in college!) Because sometimes I don't get to go into my class, or I am holding a baby, or Wil is sick and I miss church altogether.  



But truthfully this walk with God is dynamic. It changes and develop and deepens with time and effort. Blogs and conferences and women's days and sermons are wonderful TOOLS that help my relationship with God to deepen and teach me how to be more like Jesus in my mind, heart and life. But ultimately it comes down to the individual work I put into my relationship with God to grow spiritually. 


My favorite tool as a busy working mom has been flash cards... Early in the week I choose a few scriptures a week to focus on and make flash cards with those scriptures on them (usually on Sundays). Then in my alone time (the bathroom....red lights...5-45 minutes waiting for doctors...) I pull them out and pray through the words and the sentiments of God. 


I also love the "reading plans" my Bible app has on my iphone. It is a free application called youverse and the reading plans provide a few short scriptures a day. I usually read those before I get out of bed for the day (once Wil wakes up and wakes me up, I wait a few minutes to get him and use these quick moments to set my heart for the day). He has gotten up to the point where he won't expect me for at least  10-15 minutes :)


Prayer time = driving time! And walking my nutty pups is also a good time to go to God...I try to make sure to have "dates with God" as I use to do in college, in a coffee shop or in nature as often as possible to pour my heart out to God-- but at a minimum I write him letters...


Therein lies my desire to blog. I write almost everyday anyway- be it in prayer to God or in a journal. And if my silly thoughts and ideas can be ANY source of encouragement to others than I know it is my duty and privilege to share. 


Philippians 2

¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

Being like minded is an adjective meaning "of the same mind" or to imitate in mind and life- so God's word teaches us to lovingly hand out encouragement, comfort, tenderness, and compassion. I sincerely hope this blog can somehow bring my friends and family a little encouragement, a little laughter and maybe even another Tool to help us get a few steps closer to God. 

Please comment below on some other practical ideas you have for deepening your walk with God throughout the day...What tools are you using? 

Short Years?

"In youth the days are short and the years are long.

 In old age the years are short and day's long."      

  -Nikita Ivanovich Panin

When I realized, that even Billy didn't realize what my blog title means, I knew I had to write a post about it! 

Sometimes I emphasize the long days with a toddler and busy work environment, and sometimes I emphasize the short years as it seems he grows and changes over night and I can't even remember what I was doing this time last year. I remember as a youngin' thinking elementary school would NEVER end. But it did, and it does. Now- life has never seemed as slow moving as a toddler around 4:30, or as fast moving as my son's blond hair (growing at a speed that requires expensive haircuts much too often). 


The title of this blog was born as I was spending time thinking about how each day feels long and yet when added up together the years are flying by, and how I want to emphasize the TRANSFORMATIONS happening among those long days and short years. Transformations that capture my memories, relationships, student's, and interactions. 


I have more to say about these daily/weekly/monthly/yearly transformations here. 


Ms. Panin was sure onto something when she wrote about the differences in youth and age. And while I acknowledge I am not yet old (although I did have a student ask me today where I was when I heard MLK's "I have a dream speech"....Yikes...), I do feel like I am getting older as I celebrate my 31st birthday in a few weeks. Even crazier to me is that I celebrated 18 years as a Christian on September 18, 2012.

Psalm 71:5

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁵ For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD,
   my confidence since my youth.

 I have been a Christian longer than I haven't been. My parents and grandparents and even great grandparents were and are Christians- and as I look back on my lineage and life, I want to always be useful to God in gratitude. 

Grandmama Bogle with baby Wil

2 Timothy 1:5

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

I pray to provide a legacy to his glory as he transforms my long days into short years. 

Passing by on the other side...

 A dear friend of mine wasn't at church last night  and I missed her so I looked in on her to make sure everything was going okay. She shared with me that she had some special friends who really needed help and so her and her husband (and two kiddos) changed course for the night to be with their friends.


Whats so unique about this is that about eight years ago, this same friend did the same thing for me. Her willingness to show me mercy was the beginning to one of my best and closest friendships.  


We had been married for a few short weeks, still navigating sharing a bathroom, and we had this big young dog. Growing up, my fmaily dog Madison weighed about five pounds so this dog was BIG to me. This dog (unknowingly to us) had major separation anxiety. He was much more "Marley" than Lassie... So while we were at work we crated him, but Billy had to put a Carabineer on his cage because he had figured out how to open his door to escape. So on this fateful night we came home (rushing to get to midweek) and walked into chaos. 


Raider (crazy dog) had broken and bent the wire on the crate to free himself from the crate and had destroyed our little brand new apartment- he had gotten into the pantry and subsequently dragged pancake mix all over the house (combined with slobber you can imagine how the carpets and the bed took a beating!) He had jumped on the counter and knocked over some of our newly received "registry" dishes, and had eaten all kinds of doggy unfriendly foods. 


In our newly married state we didn't even have a vacuum yet! I was heartbroken- Billy's dog was a menace to my society... Billy made one call to our above mentioned friends (who lived 35 minutes away and were about to leave for church mind you) and they showed up with cleaning supplies and a vacuum and stayed with us for hours recuperating our little home and my spirit along the way. It was this selfless act of mercy that truly endeared this family to us forever. 


Last night I was reminded of this story and more importantly Jesus's story in response to an important question... 

⁹But he, wanting to justify himself, said unto Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

 
 ³⁰And Jesus answering said, "A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his raiment and wounded him and departed, leaving him half dead.

 
 ³¹And by chance there came down a certain priest that way. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.  ³²And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him and passed by on the other side.  ³³But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was. And when he saw him he had compassion on him,  ³⁴and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

 
 ³⁵And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host and said unto him, `Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again I will repay thee.'

 
 ³⁶Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbor unto him that fell among the thieves?"  ³⁷And he said, "He that showed mercy on him." Then said Jesus unto him, "Go and do thou likewise." (Luke 10:29-37 KJ21)

It's always stuck me that a priest (most likely on his way to doing good Christain-ly things) didn't stop to take mercy. Both the Levite and the Priest: PASSED BY ON THE OTHER SIDE...

This memory and this passage have got me thinking... am I passing by important things in pursuit of doing good? We are all "doing good" in our own way. IN FACT: stop and think about something good you have done this week. Maybe you took a new mom a meal, or you helped an elderly person unload their groceries from their car, or maybe you made an effort to smile and greet someone unkind to you....

We are all good people but this story was used as an illustration to clarify eternal life...

 ²⁵And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, "Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

 
 ²⁶He said unto him, "What is written in the law? How readest thou?"²⁷And he answering said, "`Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind, and thy neighbor as thyself.'" ²⁸And He said unto him, "Thou hast answered right; this do, and thou shalt live."  ²⁹But he, wanting to justify himself, said unto Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" (Luke 10:25-29 KJ21)

Let's all add into our busy lives living proof of NOT passing by....

Transformation- the dirty word....

"So... are you a writer?" he said sincerely- unknowing he was tottering into dangerous territory.

"Unfortunately yes..." I said. (Unfortunate because my thoughts and words always come out better on paper than they do out loud.) I immediately started wondering...

Can you be a better writer than you are a speaker? Can you be a writer if no one reads your words? Can you be a writer if you don't write very often or for a small audience? CAN you be a writer if you don't have the COURAGE to write?

"I mean- I'm an eighth grade literature teacher- so of course I'm a writer...I just don't publish...or I haven't published...or I could....". I deteriorate when this question comes! I love to write and to teach writing, but have always been intimidated to write for an audience. I publish a dozen thoughts a week on facebook but somehow that doesn't count.. and therefore my writing outlet continues to wane...

Herein lies a transformation.........

As a working mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend (whatever else I need to be in the moment)... I need to write. I don't always want to write, but I need to write because when writing my spirit and soul escape into the world in a way that is terrifyingly rewarding...and so I venture with high levels of trepidation into the world of blogging. This isn't my first blog mind you!! It's my...third....BUT the first to be shared with the universe ;)

I can't promise daily updates- more like weekly....I can't promise proper grammar (cause sometimes it doesn't convey the full message! and cause I don't want to censor all my thoughts with the fear of judgement and having my title as English teacher revoked...) BUT I can promise honesty and occasional wit...Occasional...

This will be a space for me to ponder my career, my marriage and relationships, and even parenting- often through the lens of my most precious gift and resource-my relationship with God.

I leave you with his thoughts in regards to transformation and challenge you to ask yourself- is there any area (be it physical, spiritual or emotional) that you'd like to see transformed or renewed? Be specific!!

Romans 12:2

New International Version (NIV)

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.